*REVIEWER PURCHASED GAME HIMSELF. TWICE. AND NOT BECAUSE OF EMOTIONAL PURPOSES. FOR REVIEW PURPOSES*

Ratchet and Clank have long graced Sony consoles, first appearing back in 2002 on the PS2, with regular instalments ever since. This is a good thing, because Ratchet and Clank provide a ‘mascot platformer’ appeal that drove the console wars way back. In a time when every second game features a cis white male shooting guns despite that being so 2000-and-late, it’s good to have a cis male alien shooting guns and jumping up edges and stuff.

The game is currently getting good reviews from garming jurnalizts and it just shows how dumb and stupid the out of touch game reviewers are. Good is an understatement, 86 on Metacritic is a steaming pile of bullshit, the game is perfect. I would like each and every reviewer to explain the 14 points of difference because maybe we weren’t playing the same game, or maybe their mothers didn’t beat the importance of not lying on product reviews that will influence millions of consumers. The game has spent 2 weeks as the best-selling game on the UK sales charts, but it still hasn’t been played by every single UKlien, and that in itself is a disservice to the game, Insomniac, Sony and the general population.

If you don’t like the set-up of the controls, the use of the R1 button as what used to take a combination of held buttons to achieve a long jump or high jump, you are at fault and an idiot, why don’t you go back to school, dumbarse? Reviewers said that they didn’t like the way that this was done and frankly I am sick of reviewers not liking aspects of this game that I like. Reviewers are big dumb cry-baby poo-poo heads and so are you if you disagree with me then fight me.

This is a classic 3D platformer. The gameplay is a return to the classic era when games didn’t need guns to win over the audience. Instead it heavily uses weaponry to compliment the platforming aspects, giving players something to do in-between the important moving parts. It’s like the puzzles in Prof. Layton, arguably throw-away but just as importantly a well-crafted and exciting experience completely underappreciated by the biased game’s media. While traditionally 3D platformers are aimed at children, with the design of the main character as something cutesy and lovable, Ratchet is a whole different breed. Insomniac have slowly turned Ratchet into a more sexual being, that of course is not denying that Ratchet’s original design wasn’t sexy, but it tapped into the 2002 ideas of ‘physically dripping’. This 2016 reimagining of the character have looked at our ideal humans, the Kardashians, and given Ratchet that appearance not only physically but also in his deeper character. From wanting more, finding a genius robot that drove him on an adventure, to marrying said robot; the narratives are hard to distinguish from each other even by the keenest, most cultured observer.

The game has less save states than the original games, taking the number from 4 slots to 1. This was probably implemented to compliment the new system limitations. When the PS2 was released it had a memory card system that required the purchaser to buy a whole new memory card if they played a lot of games. Now, the PS4 comes with a 500GB HDD installed in the system from purchase, a requirement implemented by the necessary installation of massive games. So using a single save file makes sure that the save of Ratchet and Clank (2016) is the smallest possible, leaving lots of room for you to install other great PS4 games like Knack and . While you may argue that minimum size of a save on the PS4 is larger than the original PS2 memory card could even hold makes my point moot, you’re moot, shut up.
I also found that only having a single save slot caused me to have a stronger emotional investment in the Ratchet that I had been playing with, a stronger connection to the guns. It’s like guns from the Walmart bargain bin had turned into my best friends. The only ones who really understood the story, that felt the emotions running through the game’s Challenge Mode over and over as they slowly levelled into the Sebastian the Crab to my Ariel the Mermaid.

The game has arguably less stages than some previous Ratchet and Clank titles, but the number of polygons makes it look like a playable Pixar movie, meaning that there’s even more game world to see. Not only this, but the game was only 2/3rds of a standard PS4 games so stop being a little bitch and just admit that they’re oot.

I’ve encountered a number of glitches during my playthrough. For example, while grindrailing and jumping to the next rail, I would somehow end up just standing on the rail and not grinding on it. This is a good thing because it allowed me to observe the level from a different angle to confirm that it did indeed look like a Pixar movie from places that weren’t the main path. Another glitch I encountered multiple times would have Ratchet land on a planet, only to fly off involuntarily and straight off a cliff. This was okay though, because it was fall with style. Like in Toy Story how Buzz Lightyears wouldn’t fly but he would fall in style, cementing how much Ratchet and Clank is like a playable Pixar movie.

In conclusion, Ratchet and Clank PS4 is an outstanding game that has delivered a competent Pixar movie that you should play or you’re just wasting your life.

10/10 hickeys from my neck to my upper inner thigh.

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