I know I’ve tried doing stuff similar to this before but I thought I may as well start fresh. I’d like to make these regularly but my big picture is all over the place. To be honest I’m hoping that these will help stream line my thoughts and get them out into words a bit better.

Also that’s a Blue Snowball mic. It’s pretty good. I’d like to get a better camera than the Aldi’s one I got in 2008 but we’ll just have to wait and see. The key times and all the topics covered are in the video description so if that interests you and you’re watching from a browser you can open it in Youtube.

Nintendo Switch has finally met its maker.

That’s right folks, Nintendo’s newest console had a rough road ahead of it when it launched in March of 2017 but just 3 and a half months later I think we can all agree that the Nintendo Switch is finally an attractive platform for game devs. But are they the devs the system needs?

After the 3DS lost a lot of support from western developers and the unmitigated fiasco that was Wii U support, Nintendo have shown that their latest platform really has legs.

When 3DS launched in Europe it had 13 titles straight out of the gate, 15 including separate Nintendogs+Cats titles. It was games like Rabbids 3D and Rayman 3D and Rayman Visits Rabbids 3D that shot the Nintendo 3DS to be the best selling 8th Generation dedicated games console.

The potential for greatness was lost on many

 When the Wii U hit European shelves it packed shelves with a massive 26 titles. Who could forget gathering the family around the gamepad for Rabbids Land, Game Party Champions and ‘Family Party: 30 Great Games Obstacle Arcade’ (ikr)? They were magical times. As we all know, it’s not about whether the console is any good or makes sense, it’s all about the amount of games. Wii U was a success story for Nintendo, launching with over 30 games.

When Switch hit the European market it brought with it a paltry 5 retail games. However there was hope. While the Wii U launched with just 5 eShop exclusive titles, Switch’s European launch saw a digital marketplace brimming with 14 titles.

Switch is now seeing its digital marketplace explode with new mobile ports hitting the platform every week. However, as any true Nintendo fan will tell you, mobile gaming is the scourge of video games and its sole purpose is to kill Pokémon and in turn make Nintendo go 3rd party. #Nintendoomed

We’ve seen the most trusted game publishers in the industry succumb to the vile temptress that is the mobile gaming market. Square Enix and Capcom who were strong supporters of Nintendo’s consoles with so many Wii U releases that I had to open my second hand just to count them have fallen to the flashy lights of your phone and ditched home console gaming for the illustrious life of whaling. Worse yet, they release ports real for serious games on mobile platforms! Those are my childhoods!

It’s the variety of content that these mobile ports are bringing that is truly detrimental to Switch’s potential success. The fact that the hardware used to run the Switch was designed around the Android operating system and that without demand micro-processors used in smart devices and Switch wouldn’t exist is not relevant. What is relevant is that they are using their insidious ways to covet real for serious gaming’s install base with their wickedness.

I thought the day would never come when Nintendo was defeated, but here we are. With games that have been ported to the PC as well as other consoles, we are left seeing the horrible scars of the modern game industry across Nintendo’s handsome face.

They don’t get much more handsome

While we haven’t seen the vicious monetisation systems that plague the world of mobile gaming, with these PC ports of mobile ports, how long until the blood thirsty pervert mobile devs drop the façade and start offering games for ‘free’ only for me to max out mum’s credit card? Not long, I would conjecture!

While Snake Pass brought a console experience to the Switch, it won’t be too long before mobile devices are able to push out the quality 540p graphics that Switch owners should be enjoying exclusively. If we don’t act fast, anyone can enjoy the fun that we have. And that’s just not on.

I’ve played some of these mobile port atrocities and all I can say is that they’re a good way to pass the time before we LOSE all that WE have been FIGHTING for. With their lower budgets and western focuses, we really are living in the worst possible timeline. My heart beckons for a simpler time, when the games we played were we knew it was good because it wasn’t a Flash game on NewGrounds.

I bet everyone reading this has a smart phone. Sinners. The only way to save Nintendo is to rush to your nearest Kmart or Woolworths/Safeway store and ask for their most affordable burner. We must downgrade to save what is most sacred to us. If we progress, we will lose our precious childhoods being strung along until Nintendo has to go 3rd party and releases Splatoon 3 on Xbox One X 2. Because if we don’t reject fun and games now, we won’t have any fun left.

Just games. Sad.

In late 2016 the rumour mongers were stirring up the Nintendo Switch pot with a title no one could ever have seen coming. In the last few weeks however, it has come to light that while the game is yet to be formerly announced, verified leaks suggest that Mario+Rabbids: Kingdom Battle is indeed coming to the Nintendo Switch.

WHAT?

WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT NINTENDO, I WILL TEAR UP ALL THE PHONE BOOKS IN THE WORLD WITH MY TEETH.

THIS ISN’T A GAME THAT APPEALS TO ME. WHERE IS THE ANIME ART STYLE? IT’S NOT A REAL NINTENDO RPG WITHOUT ANIME. HOW CAN PEACH AND RABBIDS EVEN MAKE A BABY, THIS SHOULD GO IN THE BIN WITH ADVANCED WARS UNFUCKABLE TANKS.

THIS IS A TRAVESTY. NINTENDO ARE SPITTING IN THE FACE OF US, THE TRUE FANS BY MAKING DEALS WITH UBISOFT.

DID YOU KNOW THAT UBISOFT STOP SUPPORTING THE WII U IN NOVEMBER 2014 WITH AAA RELEASES AND ONLY SUPPORTED THEM WITH JUST DANCE AFTERWARDS?

IT’S NOT IMPORTANT THAT ALL OTHER WESTERN PUBLISHERS STOPPED SUPPORTING THE CONSOLE WITHIN A FEW MONTHS, WEEKS IN SOME CASES AFTER LAUNCH. THAT SQUARE ENIX DIDN’T BRING ANYTHING OTHER THAN DEUS EX: HUMAN REVOLUTION. AND THAT CAPCOM’S ONLY RETAIL RELEASES WERE PORTS OF 3DS GAMES. UBISOFT IS THE WORST PUBLISHER EVVVVVEEEEEERRRRRRRR.

I WILL BE BOYCOTTING ALL OF NINTENDO’S PRODUCTS UNLESS THEY RETURN TO FORM BY RELEASING A MARIO GAME IN THE VEIN OF MARIO 64.

Oh wait, there’s more than one game coming to the Switch, never mind those comments.

(But honestly, it shouldn’t take this long to port Rayman Legends and Steep especially when consumers are insatiably buying digital releases they’d otherwise ignore)

Mario+Rabbids: Kingdom Battle will be at Japan Expo in Paris this July.

I do a lot of travel for this job of serious gamer. This requires money so turn off Adblock, Adblock is killing my livelihood of professional chair seat ruiner. I’m constantly moving around from seat to seat and as such spend time looking at the logistics involved in incorporating my gaming schedule into my travel schedule. I have taken a break from my intense game of grab-ass here at the office to tell you about a thought I had.

What if, and bear with me for a minute here, what is Nintendo Switch could be put into a plane seat? Like, you know how airplanes have those monitors you can use to track the flight or the on flight movie? Just bring your own Nintendo Switch, use a wireless service to download the plane’s entertainment applet and enjoy the flight.

What wouldn’t speed up a flight more than getting a few hours into a thoroughly enjoyable video game? Heck, if you don’t care about the ‘enjoyable’ nature and it’s ever ported, most flights would accommodate a play-through or two of ‘The Order: 1886’.

Maybe. But probably not.

Thanks to an inconsiderate scare ad from Nintendo, I am now terrified that my leaning back in my plane chair could ruin someone’s Nintendo Switch playing experience. As our friends at CNET have shown us, the kickstand is a pathetic waste of time and patience for import tech bloggers such as myself. I worry that the individual behind me, trying to play their Nintendo Switch is going to have it fall down at the slightest bit of me scratching my glutes from a sitting position.

This is where docking it in the chair comes in handy. Now you don’t have to worry about your play session being interrupted by me rolling around 360 in my chair because I just can’t get comfortable with the damn cheap QANTAS dual-3.5mm jacked headphones. It doesn’t even affect my person, just the thought. Yuck.

Unnatural and sick

Why not give them out to all passengers for collection at the end of the flight? Museums give out tape recorders with audio tours all the time, heck, the Louvre even has a tour app for the Nintendo 3DS and leases out units to visitors! As seen in Nintendo’s initial reveal ad, women find people who play games at the airport irresistibly sexy. If Nintendo could negotiate a deal with an airline to distribute these and even the playing field for picking up hot chicks when travelling, I would choose this airline over any other. Babes speak, to me now as well.

Guys with Nintendo Switch have an unfair advantage in natural selection

These are all very reasonable and logical reasons for Nintendo to engage airlines in having more interest and incorporation of the Nintendo Switch units. Nintendo are in a terrible place as they play catch up to PS4 and Xbox One but the ability to capture the market of people who go on planes on occasion like me? It’s a game changer and I can be contact at the Twitter handle @xaaronh for when you want to hire me as your head of PR.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is one of Nintendo Switch’s biggest upcoming release. It will launch alongside the console on March 3rd. There is a limited edition. It’s pretty baller. Preorders at JB HiFi’s website have opened up for $189+p/h. It sold out on EB’s website quickly so if you’re flush you’ll want to be streets ahead and order it now. Otherwise you’ll risk being streets behind.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Limited Edition includes:

  • Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild game card
  • Master Sword of Resurrection Figurine
  • Relic of Hyrule: Calamity Ganon Tapestry and Weather-worn Map
  • Sheikah Eye Collectible Coin
  • Sound Selection CD

It can be bought here.

I’m just reporting this because everyone else was and I just want you guys to like me.

 

A game industry Insider sits well postured at his desk. In front of him is a monitor, with a Skype chat to <insert your favourite “leaker” here>.

Leaker: “Hey do u have any news for me?”

Behind him is a gun pushing against his skull. With every second that passes the Insider believes he can hear clicks coming from the internals of the gun. The once cold barrel pushing into the back of his next has gotten hot, the front sights feeling like a hot knife stabbing with every little quiver.

“Is your body ready?”

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I recently finished Mafia 3. I’m not going to lie, at the moment it isn’t worth your money. It’s a broken mess that should not have been released in the state it’s in. But credit where credit is due, the final chapters of the game were pretty great. With the story delivery and script so strong in cutscenes, it’s a shame the overall package was impossible to recommend. Hell, I’d even argue that Father James is one of the best and most unique characters from 2016’s new game line-up.

While I played the game I’d encounter weird glitches and things I thought were bad. As such I recorded them with the PS4Share function (hence 720p) and have now compiled the best ones into one video. Hope you enjoy!

*these are opinions based on the PS4 version of Mafia III running on an OG PS4*

I’m about 6-8 hours into Mafia III and if you’re thinking about buying, let me give you some advice;

Wait.

Look, I understand. Gaming season is upon us and Mafia III stands as one of the first AAA games to be hitting shelves. But I can honestly say, this game is not worth the big dollars. As a game that will likely take a price-drop in a few months, I say hold out and, if it’s the open-world sandbox genre that interests you, see what Watch_Dogs 2 offers.

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After 3 long years of waiting for its release, gamers have flocked to No Man’s Sky now available on Blu-Ray disc for the Playstation 4 unit and on digital distribution platforms for PS4/PC. The game received mixed reviews, but sold gangbusters. Many of the players, including myself, have dissected some goods and a lot of ‘mehs’ and bads out of the 1.4m copy selling game. Many people weren’t impressed with what they saw, stating the marketing on the actual gameplay was vague and that they couldn’t get any “Chievos” for it on their ‘Bone’. The years leading up to the release saw some incredible footage of a massive game with visuals blowing away the murky brown competition in the field at the time. The final product however is nowhere near as spectacular as the marketing campaign made it appear to many, inciting intense backlash from consumers.

There’s a similar campaign going on for a product that on closer inspection could reach the same outcomes; Donald Trump’s Presidential Election. In this piece I will be examining some areas of No Man’s Sky and how they relate to the way that the Trump campaign is selling the presidential candidate.

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